February 2012
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“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is...”
– Oscar Wilde
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“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers...”
– Sonja (Love and Death)
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“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept...”
– Woody Allen
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IV: Denial, Yearning, Derision, Acceptance.
Denial: When I was little, I was sort of denominationally challenged. When my dad was living with his girlfriend, her son and I would go to church almost every Sunday that I was staying there. The Church on Ocean Park was so unconventional and everyone was so into the ideas of love and light and singing and painting and doing whatever makes you happy that I guess I experienced the Christianity...
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Seriously
I would do anything short of whoring myself to go to Paris right now.
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Birthday was a success, three days of love and care. This morning I heard a knock at the door. ”Who is it?” “It’s reality, I’m here to steal you away again.” “Fuck.”
I don’t want to do what I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to study and get good grades and apply myself and think about life after High School and plan for college and...
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“The desert is a capricious lady, and sometimes she drives men crazy.”
– Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
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I want so badly to continue to enjoy Law & Order: Criminal Intent (Goren and Eames have been my best friends for a few months now), but I can’t ignore the fact that the more I watch, the more I realize how implausible every case is. Damn my inability to overlook these fantastical murder cases! I want to go back, back to a better time—a few weeks ago—when I was full of...
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Finally
I’m turning 17 tomorrow but I feel so much older. 67 perhaps? Every birthday, I spend quite a bit of time remembering the year before. A lot has changed in a year. Some people I thought would always be right there are long gone, it’s so strange. I wonder where I’ll be one year from now.
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“Every time I try to talk to someone it’s ‘sorry this’ and...”
– God (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
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“Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback”
– The Dude
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Woe Is Me
I am fully aware of my lameness, but I am getting seriously irritated with Netflix. Tonight seemed to be the perfect night to settle in with some jasmine green tea and Lady & the Tramp. But no, Netflix decided to make my Disney movie of choice “unavailable”. Then, I thought of the perfect substitute: Dr. Doolittle with Rex Harrison (Eddie Murphy can go to hell). But once again,...
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“What do you think I’d see if I could walk away from me?”
– Lou Reed (the Velvet Underground)